Shopping

In general, Shopping is an event, especially on Christmas or on the way to a party that you should have bought something earlier. Anyway, shopping. It seems very simple, really. Going to a store to get something you need or want in exchange for money. Yup, it looks simple on paper, but nothing could be more difficult.

There are many differences between Shopping like a Man or a Woman.

Men contemplate their purchases for hours (before they get to the store), replaying the moment of purchase over and over in their heads. Grabbing the PS3, the Best Buy employees see him tear up a bit and start to clap and cheer, as he makes the long walk to the register lines. A few employees give him a high five as he passes them, and one slyly hand him a tissue to dry his eyes. Then, the magical moment happens as he resides in the #1 spot in line, and he hears those magical words, “I can help you right over here, sir”. It is almost like approaching the President, Angelina Jolie, or both. The man leaves changed forever, or at least until the credit card bill arrives.

Men are hunters. They know precisely what they are after. They find it, purchase it, and display it proudly for others to admire.

Women shop much differently than Men.

Women seem to consider purchases prior to making them. They talk to their friends about them, “I’m going to buy that cute leather jacket with the faux fur,” looking around to see the nods of approval.

However, when they enter said store, something strange happens – all the preparation gets wiped from their brains like in “Men in Black”.

They forget what they wanted, and become aimless wanderers in a sea of options. Maybe its the air curtains in the door, or maybe the mechanism that automatically opens the door. Not sure really.

I’ve seen women, brilliant women, that know so much about so many things become so – unsure of anything. As a matter of fact, sometimes they become zombie-like. If a couple is shopping for a baby shower gift, the the guy can walk up and say to her, “How’s it going? The baby will be in High School if you you don’t buy something pretty quick,” the response is a very vague, “Uh Huh”. That response is because the woman is caught in some weird universe know as Shopperia Major. It’s a place where their mind is shown so many options, that it blanks out and go from one side of the area to another looking for, No One Knows What.

Sure, a man can (try and move the process along and) say;

“That’s a great blouse/pair of shoes/travel mug, etc. honey.”

“Really? You like it?”

“Yes, I really do,”

and then it goes back on the rack, and the cute zombie you came with wanders off to not choose something else for another 20 minutes.

To be continued next week…

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