I have a large bladder and that means I have one job at the movies. Guess what it is.

I like going to the movies. Sometimes I go with my lovely wife


other times I go with a larger group.


I’ve noticed that I have been given a few gifts;

I can wiggle my ears,
I can mimic voices, and
I have a big bladder.

So, because of the bladder thing I have one job at the movies – The Seat Saver. I annoy Sammie, so let’s let her get it off her chest, then I will continue.

FYI – Sammie says the “B” word twice and pronounced Hair as “Her”.

So, since everyone else has stock bladders and I must have gotten the bladder upgrade, I save seats. So what? You say. Well, I invite you to come along when we see movies on the opening night or opening weekend.

Here are some ways I suggest saving seats;

1. Bring a ventriloquist dummy and put on an act;

Person wanting one of the seats I am saving: You saving those seats?
Dummy: You talking to me?
Person wanting one of the seats I am saving: No, the other dummy. Are you saving those seats?
Me: I’m not, the other dummy is, ask him,
this goes on for awhile…

2. Wear a T-shirt that says “Yes, I’m saving these seats for a group of Hell’s Angels that just quit smoking and caffeine yesterday.”
3. Drape “Awake” and “Watchtower” magazines over the seats you are saving, and if someone removes one of the magazines say, “Your address please?”
4. Wear a T-shirt that says “I have taken a 10 year vow of silence until this movie starts”
5. If you are lucky enough to have one other person from the group stay with you. You wear a T-shirt that says, “Got IBS“, then the other person in your group sitting next to you wears a T-shirt that says, “He does (with an arrow pointing to you)” and they have a clothespin on their nose.

What are some other fun ways that you have saved seats at the movie theater on opening weekend for a film?

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