Try Not Looking at Alice Eve’s Boobs – a Test for you.

We heard about the hullabaloo about Alice Eve having a scene in her underwear in Star Trek: Into Darkness and we wanted to look into this ourselves and see if Men could appreciate Women apart from their boobs. So, this blog post is about Men appreciating Women for more than their boobs. Take our test and see if you can NOT look at Alice Eve’s boobs. Starting Now.

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Bad Hairstyles for Men and How to Fix Them

In my opinion, Men in general have no style. The men that do have style are magical, but the rest of us are trying our best, which usually isn’t.

Take hair, for example.

Men have a short time to do stylish things, before our hair falls out, and when a clock is running, men get desperate and do desperate things, like these;

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The famous Mullet. I had one, and you did, too. Admit it. I dare you to add a pic of your mullet to a comment on the post.

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Hey Dad, See what me and my brother did with the hair clippers while you were at work. Cool, huh?

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What the Flock – of Seagulls. Sometimes an idea that sorta worked on Mtv definitely didn’t work in real life. So I say, You Run, You Run so far away from this please.

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The Wall of product and hair. I wonder if that hair style could break through a window?

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Ahhh! It’s an explosion of hair. He could play the before picture of a human dandelion.

Oops hair

This hair style is called the Oops, style.

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When Men start to lose it (their hair I mean), they do things like this. The not too subtle comb-over.

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The “My head and hair are art” cut. From a marketing perspective, I can see this coming in handy. I could shave in “MenAreDumb.org” on my head and walk around, but then this idea gets creepy…

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See, creepy.

If all else fails, you can wear a hat (all the time) like Brett Michaels or The Edge.

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Here are some tips to deal with a bad hair style/cut:

http://coolmenshair.com/2011/10/fix-a-bad-haircut-for-men.html

or you could go to the Mormon Beauty School

Before you Complain Again on Facebook (About Facebook), Kiss and Hug your Toilet Paper Roll

Venezuela, you have a problem.

Supermarket staff work next to partially empty shelves of toilet paper in Caracas

It appears that Venezuela has a toilet paper shortage (http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2013/05/so-venezuela-has-a-toilet-paper-shortage-dont-laugh-seriously/275940/). Instead of diving headlong into a political discussion debate, I would simply like for us to appreciate what we have, yes even a pallet full of Costco Toilet Paper. Show your TP some love today, whatever that means to you.

How do you Keep the Bathroom Stall Door Shut (if it has no lock)? 5 Perfect Ways

It’s 2013. We’ve done lots as the human race. I mean we have a Man Groomer (so Men can shave their own backs) mangroomer-3-092706 for Heaven’s Sake, but even with all that, sometimes the small things still allude mankind – like a bathroom stall door that will stay shut the entire “visit”.

There is nothing like running to or from somewhere, let’s say you are in an airport and (of course) your connecting gate is on the other side of the airport (I’m looking at you DFW airport). You run in, praying to the Latrine god that there is a spare. You are in luck! Huzzah! You rush in and quickly look for the lock.

Hmm, you see where it used to be. Now, you realize you are the joke of the Men’s room, because all the other guys ran in this one first and left it because it had no lock. What do you do? Natural is calling – screaming now, so you run through the options of keeping the stall door closed to spare you the weird introduction to the guy waiting, because it eases open when you touch (or look at the side wall of the stall). You could;

1. Use your carry on bag as a Wall of Security (with Cinnamon Bears in a zipped flap), but what if you have no carry on bag, and you’re not in an airport restroom, no lock, what do you do?

2. (This takes planning) Slip in something the size of bottle cap into the slot where the hinge is, or

3. Create one out of the cardboard of the paper butt gaskets or toilet paper and push in the slot on the hinge side, or

4. (This takes lots of focus and multi-tasking abilities) Use your shin (sort of easy) or foot (Very, very difficult) to keep the door shut, or you could buy one of these

5. Introducing the Stall Stopper 5-a-clip-that-prevents-restroom-doors-from-opening. Now, carrying it around all the time after you use it, is all on you, but I wanted to let you know.

So, has the door opened on you? How do you keep the bathroom stall door shut if it has a flimsy or no lock?

Just be glad the bathroom stall door doesn’t sound like a whale.

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Survivor finale 2013 – Geeks Win! Hero of the Week – John M. Cochran

Who thought that the instantly sunburning, social stumbling, smart guy, Cochran could pull off the unthinkable – a Sole Survivor Win. Me, that’s who. More info on this Season: CLick here

CBS' "Survivor: Caramoan Fans VS Favorites" Finale And Reunion

There has been a huge shift from when I was in High School. Geeks were spectacled gigglers hoping to tutor the entire cheer-leading squad, but now they rule the world.

The Big Band Theory TV show was an obvious Main stream shot across the bow of conventional Reality TV fodder, but other geeks were already taking over.

Steve Jobs, and his “prophecy” that he wanted to build a computer for every household, invented the iphone and went farther than anyone could have thought.

Geeks became cool. The paradigm shift happened because some geeks were persistent, began to believe in themselves (Like Cochran proved) and believe that there was a little geek in all of us.

As one Geek to another, Cochran, you rock! Thanks for making smart, sexy again. Oh, and two words for you Cochran, Danica McKellar. You’re welcome.

I have a large bladder and that means I have one job at the movies. Guess what it is.

I like going to the movies. Sometimes I go with my lovely wife

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other times I go with a larger group.

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I’ve noticed that I have been given a few gifts;

I can wiggle my ears,
I can mimic voices, and
I have a big bladder.

So, because of the bladder thing I have one job at the movies – The Seat Saver. I annoy Sammie, so let’s let her get it off her chest, then I will continue.

FYI – Sammie says the “B” word twice and pronounced Hair as “Her”.

So, since everyone else has stock bladders and I must have gotten the bladder upgrade, I save seats. So what? You say. Well, I invite you to come along when we see movies on the opening night or opening weekend.

Here are some ways I suggest saving seats;

1. Bring a ventriloquist dummy and put on an act;

Person wanting one of the seats I am saving: You saving those seats?
Dummy: You talking to me?
Person wanting one of the seats I am saving: No, the other dummy. Are you saving those seats?
Me: I’m not, the other dummy is, ask him,
this goes on for awhile…

2. Wear a T-shirt that says “Yes, I’m saving these seats for a group of Hell’s Angels that just quit smoking and caffeine yesterday.”
3. Drape “Awake” and “Watchtower” magazines over the seats you are saving, and if someone removes one of the magazines say, “Your address please?”
4. Wear a T-shirt that says “I have taken a 10 year vow of silence until this movie starts”
5. If you are lucky enough to have one other person from the group stay with you. You wear a T-shirt that says, “Got IBS“, then the other person in your group sitting next to you wears a T-shirt that says, “He does (with an arrow pointing to you)” and they have a clothespin on their nose.

What are some other fun ways that you have saved seats at the movie theater on opening weekend for a film?

Please leave a comment and subscribe to our dumb blog.

Pippa Middleton’s Style – is nothing without me

I’ve always been a Pippa fan. I think both sides of her are cute, and I always root for the one who isn’t going to rule England one day (I figure she needs it).

I was lucky enough to attend the royal wedding (You know, the one when her sister got married), a guest of Mr. P. Shop.

I had quite a bit of Botox that morning so I had a very strange look on my face, but I heard that hats were very important to the Brits, so I brought one.

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It seemed that Pippa took a shine to me and thought I was the Earl of something and asked me to pose for pictures with her and some red headed guy. She blushed when she read the sign I made for her.

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It’s a shame that the royal guards “escorted” me out so quickly after the photos. I told them I could quote almost the entire “Monty Python and The Holy Grail,” but it didn’t do any good. Just for that, I’m returning my Mr. Bean DVD Collection and I will continue to push my “It’s DOWNTOWN, not Downton Abby” petition to 500 signatures. You’ll see!

Happy Mother’s Day to Mothers from Dumb Guys everywhere!

I’ve already called and wished my very understanding Mother a Happy Mother’s Day, so I also wanted to wish another random Mother a Happy Mother’s Day, too.

Again, totally at random…

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Angie, may I call you Angie? Happy Mother’s Day.

Also, a little Mother’s Day chuckle from a classic film.

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Seriously, let your Mom know how special she is. Thanks for reading!