“Mr. Rock Music” Neighbors Ep. 1 – Unfinished Christian Audio production – Jeff’s Thoughts

Posted on July 4, 2013 by admin

I was going through my Google Docs and found an audio script for a Christian Audio production that challenges Christians. (To my knowledge) it’s never been done before, and there may be many reasons why. So, since I didn’t want it to stay in the bowels of my Google Docs account, I will post it here. The script is still pretty churchy (I wish I had a script collaborator, but I have no money to pay anyway, so there’s that), but the intent (and some funny moments, too) is there.

1. Mr. Rock Music.

Intro:

Narrator: RoneyZone Productions and jrdonline.com present- Neighbors. An on-going, audio series about 2 neighbors trying to live a Christian life, when no one’s watching.

Narrator: This episode, Mr. Rock Music.

(Outside Ambience)

(Walking up)

John: Hey Peter.

Peter: Hey John, Watcha doin?

John: Enjoying my son practicing the saxophone.

Peter: Well, he’s inside. Oooohhh, gotcha. That’s pretty smart.

John: Uh huh.

Peter: Hey, I looked for you in church today. Where do you guys sit?

John: Nosebleed section. We don’t rush out the door to get to church, my wife takes her time getting ready.

Peter: Oh, I know. Our wives get ready for church, like a beauty pageant.

John: I love bein’ a guy. We throw on; what’s left in the closet, 2 shoes, lasso the kids, pile em in the car, and then- we’re ready to wait for our Mrs. Americas to make their grand entrance to the car.

John and Peter: (laughs)

Peter: You guys seem like the perfect family.

John: Who us? Not even.

Peter: Well, Right, but who is?

John: Uh huh.

(Car roaring by with loud music)

Peter: There goes our crazy neighbor from across the street.

John: Oh, Steve?

Peter: (Shocked) You know that guy?

John: Yea.

Peter: The guy that plays loud, rock music all the time. I mean, it feels like I’m in the front row of a concert every night. Loud guitars, the screaming, the drums…

John: Peter-

Peter: Yea?

John: My wife and I know him. (Trying to convince him) He’s really a good guy.

Peter: It’s not just the music. Its the tatoos, and piercings- I’ll bet it takes him 2 hours to get through the airport security line. *Boop*, “Try it again sir”, *Boop*, “Try it again sir”, *Boop*… (laughs)

John: Have you ever said anything to him?

Peter: Does yelling at him to “turn the music down,” count?

John: Uh, no.

Peter: Does he go to our church, too?

John: I don’t think so.

Peter: Then, why are you talking to him? That’s probably why he’s so messed up. He’s could be in some weird cult or something.

John: Peter. Listen, Jesus talked to people worse than that, and you know that.

Peter: Yea, but if you hang around him too much, he could affect you in the wrong way. Right?

John: But, what if I- What if we show him God’s Love? What if we affect him by being kind and being ourselves?

Peter: (Music from Steve’s house blares) (Exasperated) There’s his music again! Arrgh. He’s just so- Ah. (Sigh)

John: You gonna be okay, Peter?

Peter: I think so.

John: My son gets pretty loud on the saxophone, too.

Peter: Yea, but your my –

John: Friend?

Peter: Don’t do that. I know what you’re saying. I know. Okay, Okay, I guess I’ll buy earplugs for Mr. Steve and his Rock Music!

John: Can you, at least, wave at him, and smile next time he drives by?

Peter: (Walking Away) Roars by, you mean! (Realizes John is right) Sure, sure, I’ll wave, I’ll smile, I’ll even try to be nice- but not today.

John: Ok, good. I think I’ve made my point. Listen, I gotta get back into check on my saxophone player.

Peter: Yea, Yea, Bye. You know, this bein Christian stuff is really tough.

John: I know. Hey Pete, are we okay?

Peter: Yea, yea. I may not like you right now, but- (pause) your right. Now, I’ve gotta go buy earplugs, and a smile for my noisy neighbor. Bye, John.

John: Bye, Peter.

(Door Shut)

How to Buy the Right Engagement Gift for the Guy – A Guide for the Ladies

Posted on June 19, 2013 by admin

Last week we discussed How to Buy the Right Engagement Ring, but let’s discuss the gift for the Guy.

What gift for the Guy, you ask?

Women respond – “It doesn’t happen that way!” some (Okay, all women) might (will) say. “The guy gives his betrothed a ring, she says Yes (hopefully), and that’s it”.

Well, no – that shouldn’t be it.

I am proposing a gift that will show the love the lady has for her man back to him after he gives her the ring.

Women respond – “That’s too much to ask for us to give a gift back! What about a watch?”

No – not a watch.

We are proposing something that guys can show other men how much their ladies’ love them. The other guys will Oo and Ahh over their gift, just like the ladies do, except it isn’t a piece a jewelry – it is something with more emotion and feeling attached to it. We have chosen something that follows a similar 5 C pattern, too.

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How to Choose the Right Engagement Ring – A Guide for Dumb Guys

Posted on June 12, 2013 by admin

When a guy finds a woman that will put up with – I mean, love him, most guys move to the next step – a separate Facebook account for “fun”. I’m KIDDING! I meant marriage, but not so fast ladies, as you know there are a multitude of steps between deciding to get married and actually getting married. We will focus on on this in the process this time – The Engagement Ring.

biggest diamond ring ever

Ok, maybe that is a slight exaggeration, but Engagement Rings do strange things to people;

For guys it drains their bank accounts,

For gals like – Miley Cyrus, for example it changed her from this –

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to this

this

or this

Anyway, be careful guys, you never know what an Engagement Ring can do, and yes I’d love for her gas pumping outfit to catch on. Ladies? Huh? It could be great! 🙂

Ok, back to choosing the right Engagement Ring…

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The initial step is to gather information. Don’t worry, it can be fun…

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5 Best Vince Vaughn Movie Roles

Posted on June 8, 2013 by admin

Vincent Anthony “Vince” Vaughn was Born in Minneapolis, Minnesota on March 28, 1970, and after that the world got cooler and funnier.

vince_vaughn1_300_400

We will highlight 5 (to us) of the funniest film roles of Vince Vaughn

5. The Lost World: Jurassic Park

Steven Spielberg spied Vince in “Swingers” and wanted to give him more exposure in the sequel to the monstrous hit, “Jurassic Park”. Vince seemed a bit out of his comedy element (Don’t get me started about the remake of ‘Psycho’), but he used this action thriller to make another mark to a different audience, and the “trailer over the cliff” segment is still just freaking awesome!

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Incredible BTS Classic Movie photos (Star Wars, The Dark Knight, Ghostbusters and more)

Posted on June 6, 2013 by admin

With the advent of youtube and the saturation of information on DVDs and magazines about the making of films you would think we had seen it all. I think I may have found some mostly unseen treasures.

Photo credit: http://cooldudestuff.com/2013/05/30-behind-the-scenes-movie-photos-youve-probably-never-seen/

There was a time when behind the scenes photos were magical pictures of film creatives creating motion pictures that would thrill us on a very tight (almost no) budget. Seeing a miniature New York street set for a humongous Stay Puffed Marshmallow man to walk down, the Star Wars heroes (sans the SW regalia) setting around cutting it up in a studio break room or Godzilla with its interior actor shown drinking tea in-between takes.

The farther we move into the CGI age, the less we may see of these types of BTS shots, and the more they are discovered, we need to treasure them and share them with future generations.

So, if you remember movies like the original Tron, Goonies, the original Conan the Barbarian, the original Planet of the Apes, Pulp Fiction, etc, you’ll love the photos you’ll find at: http://cooldudestuff.com/2013/05/30-behind-the-scenes-movie-photos-youve-probably-never-seen/

The Differences Between Shopping Like a Man or a Woman – Part 2

Posted on June 5, 2013 by admin

explaining-differences-between-men-and-women-when-it-comes-to-shopping-2

In case you haven’t read Part One of this post, here it is.

In a women’s clothing section, there is a chair. That is – the man’s chair. It is a very pitiful sight, because the man who sits there has ran through the thousands of possible ways to pass the time, while the zombie wanders in the clothes section. He has already;

1. Played all the preview video games, and beat all the high scores, and trash talked the kids that played before him, “Yeah, you’re not the Dragon King now, are you? Uh Uh. I am. That’s right.”,

gaming-guys-05-25-2012

2. Acted like an employee of the store and misdirected people who ask for directions,

3. Found the hack code to use the “info” phones and make announcements over the store intercom, “Today is “Don’t use your Smart phone in the store” day, because we want you to focus on our annoying ads,” “Today is “Don’t yell at your man because he leaves his socks in the front room floor” day. Dr. Phil said so,” and “If we hear your kids crying, you will pay double for everything,”

4. Turned up all the radios in the electronics section loud to different stations, and danced around crazily,

5. Went into all the bathroom stalls in the men’s room, lock the stall doors, and crawl out underneath them. Note: Some men will have a hard time doing this (The getting back out underneath part),

6. Told people the endings of the books they pick up to buy, then duck when they throw them,

7. Found and put on a scary masks and jumped up behind the kid photographer taking a picture, making the kid’s cry,

8. Went to the food counter, and took an inordinate amount of time choosing what to buy, then ask very specific questions, “When was the last time you cleaned the grill? With what may I ask? What was the expiration date on that spray? Is that blue slurpee drink from the waters of the Avatar planet? Really? What if this is all a simulation, and that drink is real? Hmm?”

I could keep going, but some guys just give up and go to “the chair,” and hunker down for a long day. He could go to sleep, but then kids would write on his face with mascara, and that would be bad.

I had heard that a group of men wanted to introduce a Bill stating that as long as a man had to wait for a woman to “shop,” they could go into the electronics section and watch anything on the wide screen TV.

Yes, I mean anything.

The Bill never made it past the first vote.

In conclusion, Women and Men both do handle the act of shopping differently. I have just been handed a reminder that men wander in the tool section for hours. I need to investigate if this is because their wives are wandering around in the clothing section. Let me get back to you on that. 😉

All in the Family Trivia

Posted on June 2, 2013 by admin

edithbunker

We were saddened to learn that Jean Stapleton passed away. She had a varied career, but most of us will always remember her as the long-suffering Edith, the wife of the ever opinionated, Archie Bunker. Even though the show enraged some of the viewers because of Archie’s views, is also was an uncomfortable mirror of how many Americans felt about issues like racism, homosexuality, etc, and brought them out into the public arena for further discussion. The show still is relevant today.

Here are some trivia questions about a ground-breaking sitcom in which most of us were introduced to Jean Stapleton’s fantastic acting as Edith Bunker.

1. What film did Jean Stapleton turn down to play Edith Bunker?

A. Big Jake
B. Bedknobs and Broomsticks
C. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

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‘Once Upon a Time’ Almost Had a Very Different ‘Swan’ in Storybrooke

Posted on June 1, 2013 by admin

ABC TV’s #1 Twisted, Fairy Tale Drama has cast a spell on TV audiences since it’s debut in 2011. We have learned that in the OUAT universe, Rumpelstiltskin could be himself, the Beast and a Crocodile all at the same time and not break a sweat. Even if you flow along with the wild plot twists and turns, you might be very surprised at an early decision that could have changed the show forever.

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The Differences Between Shopping Like a Man or a Woman – Part 1

Posted on May 29, 2013 by admin

Lrg_WomenShopping

Shopping

In general, Shopping is an event, especially on Christmas or on the way to a party that you should have bought something earlier. Anyway, shopping. It seems very simple, really. Going to a store to get something you need or want in exchange for money. Yup, it looks simple on paper, but nothing could be more difficult.

There are many differences between Shopping like a Man or a Woman.

Men contemplate their purchases for hours (before they get to the store), replaying the moment of purchase over and over in their heads. Grabbing the PS3, the Best Buy employees see him tear up a bit and start to clap and cheer, as he makes the long walk to the register lines. A few employees give him a high five as he passes them, and one slyly hand him a tissue to dry his eyes. Then, the magical moment happens as he resides in the #1 spot in line, and he hears those magical words, “I can help you right over here, sir”. It is almost like approaching the President, Angelina Jolie, or both. The man leaves changed forever, or at least until the credit card bill arrives.

20120921_iPhone_5_gallery_001_610x426 Men are hunters. They know precisely what they are after. They find it, purchase it, and display it proudly for others to admire.

Women shop much differently than Men.

menwomenshopping Women seem to consider purchases prior to making them. They talk to their friends about them, “I’m going to buy that cute leather jacket with the faux fur,” looking around to see the nods of approval.

However, when they enter said store, something strange happens – all the preparation gets wiped from their brains like in “Men in Black”.

They forget what they wanted, and become aimless wanderers in a sea of options. Maybe its the air curtains in the door, or maybe the mechanism that automatically opens the door. Not sure really.

I’ve seen women, brilliant women, that know so much about so many things become so – unsure of anything. As a matter of fact, sometimes they become zombie-like. If a couple is shopping for a baby shower gift, the the guy can walk up and say to her, “How’s it going? The baby will be in High School if you you don’t buy something pretty quick,” the response is a very vague, “Uh Huh”. That response is because the woman is caught in some weird universe know as Shopperia Major. It’s a place where their mind is shown so many options, that it blanks out and go from one side of the area to another looking for, No One Knows What.

Sure, a man can (try and move the process along and) say;

“That’s a great blouse/pair of shoes/travel mug, etc. honey.”

“Really? You like it?”

“Yes, I really do,”

and then it goes back on the rack, and the cute zombie you came with wanders off to not choose something else for another 20 minutes.

To be continued next week…

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What Summer 2013 Movies are you Most Excited About Seeing? Take our Poll

Posted on May 26, 2013 by admin

Summer is a great time to escape the heat and watch a great (and sometimes not so great) movie in the theater. There are a lot of choices during the rest of the summer of 2013;

After Earth (5/31)
Now You See Me (5/31)
The Purge (6/7)
The Internship (6/7)
Much Ado About Nothing (6/7)
This is The End (6/12)
Man of Steel (6/14)
World War Z (6/12)
Despicable Me 2 (7/3)
Lone Ranger (7/3)
R.I.P.D. (7/19)
Disney’s Planes (8/9)
Elysium (8/9)
Kick Ass 2 (8/16)

Please take our poll below and choose the movie(s) you are the most excited about seeing in the Summer of 2013.